Each Child is Different
Dads, I know you look at your child; I know you see your child; but when was the last time you actually watched your child intently, and understood what was going on in their mind?
When my twins were just crawling, we had bought them a 4-piece puzzle.
The pieces were big, easy for their little hands to grasp and the picture on the front helped in placing each piece.
My oldest crawled over picked up a piece and tried to put it in its place for a few tries, then crawled away to play with something else.
Then my youngest crawled over, and worked that same piece, and worked that piece and worked that piece, until it fit.
He repeated that process with intense focus until all four pieces were in place.
I was watching for the entire process, mesmerized!
My conclusion: my youngest son and I had very similar approaches to problem solving; my oldest son and I had very different approaches to problem solving.
Not that either approach was superior – just different.
Today they are both highly successful, both in life and in business.
Dads, your child is unique.
There is not another child anywhere who is identical to your child, even if your child is a twin (or one of multiples).
Not only does he/she have unique DNA and temperament, but the experiences during pregnancy, the birth experience, and each experience and adaptive response since birth has created neural pathways and connections unlike anyone else in the world.
This is part of what makes parenting the hardest job on the planet: your child is unique, and changes every day.
There is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to being a father!
Take the time to really WATCH your child and understand what is going on in his/her brain.
What worked (or did not work) with you as a child needs to be assessed based on who your child is (at the moment).
Whether your child is a newborn or in high school, knowing this makes being a father much easier, and more fulfilling.
You come equipped with a “father ninja sense”; tune-in to that so you can assist your child in becoming a self-regulating, self-directive, independent-thinking adult who makes a positive contribution, both with loved ones and the world.